Today's post is something that just popped into my head this morning. It is based on my own relationships over the years plus those of my friends, family and complete strangers around me. Try to stay with me....I might go all over the place. But I think this is something everyone can get something from.
Relationships are a confusing and sometimes frustrating part of life. There are ups & downs, twists & turns, happiness, sadness and a million other feelings wrapped up in one. When you consciously make a decision to be in a monogamous relationship you go in will all the best intentions. But things happen, people make mistakes and with some hard work it may actually work. My question is how hard should you work in a relationship? How hard should you fight for the person you love? I realize more and more as I grow older that advice from people is a no no. Yes I said it! The same people who say "leave him/her" or "I would kick him/her out" in response to a "hurdle" in your relationship are the same people who do the exact opposite in their relationship. People like to put on a front and act "harder" than they really are to save face. You know your relationship better than anyone- you should be the one making the decision ultimately about what happens in it. Here are some sample relationship issues....which one are you in?
Personally I don't believe that cheating is a absolute deal breaker in a relationship, don't get me wrong- it sucks to get cheated on but like I said before people make mistakes. It is up to you and your significant other to decide whether or not you can go past it. If he/she is a habitual cheater then chances are you need to bounce. If this is the first occurrence and your mate is remorseful and you feel you are strong enough to forgive and move past it (without throwing it in his/her face every time you have an argument) then by all means save your relationship. With that said I don't believe too much hard work should go into a relationship that you know is not going anywhere. If you are married, do all you can to keep your union together- but know when to give up. Both people have to want the same result, you can't force someone to be with you. Last week I saw a white car with the word "Cheater" written in red spray paint across the driver & rear passenger side doors of the vehicle. Why do that? Makes absolutely no sense to me. Especially if you know you aren't going anywhere and you may be with him next week.Or you met him with someone and he "cheated" with you. Not to mention that it is a childish thing to do. Move on if you are so hurt! I feel like only people who have nothing do things like that. I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want anyone doing that to my car! (But that's just me).
Then there is the chicks on the side! Yes this is for the ladies. I know its hard out here and their aren't many "quality" men available. But lowering yourself to the "jump-off/chick on the side" to hold on to something that is not yours is pathetic. There are 2 types in this category: "on the come up chicks" and "I can steal him away chicks". On the come up chicks are just trying to get what they can get and get out. They know the man is married/in a relationship and have no intentions of breaking up that "happy" home (I use the term happy loosely). They are perfectly content with their roles. Then there is the I can steal him away girls that want to be the wife/girlfriend and will do any and everything to cause drama and problems in the relationship so that they can have the man. Sad thing here is eventually it will happen to her - its a never ending cycle. Both situations are sad and I don't knock anyone's hustle, but Karma is a BITCH. (TRUST ME) With that said there are instances where these jump-offs become the "main" and have productive relationships/marriages but the statistics on that are slim. Good luck ladies!
Another facet of relationships is stringing along. DON'T DO IT! If you don't want them, leave them alone. Don't just hang on because you don't want anyone else to have them while you decide when you will be ready to be in a committed relationship. It is unfair to the other person and just plain selfish. Let is go if it comes back it is meant to be!
Users! I hate users. When you had everything and your life was great that person was the furthest from your mind. But when you fall on your face and need help they are the love of your life. (At least you pretend its that way, in front of their face) Only low lives do this. So many women look the other way in this kind of relationship. They are just happy to have a man. Trust me I know it sucks to be single but don't lower your self esteem and settle for any ol' man to fill the empty space on the other side of the bed.
I heard this on a Program Steve Harvey was on. He said you got to get rid of the "baggage" in your life in order to receive your blessings. You cant have a no good, lazy man/woman in your home while you are praying to God every night for your true love! He/she will never come because you have no room for them. Steve used an old car he had in his garage as an example. He had that car on blocks in the garage while dreaming of a "newer" car but when he got rid of the car on blocks and cleaned out the garage he received his blessing and had a working vehicle parked in the garage soon after. Instead of dreaming about it he made steps to get what he wanted.
***This post is my opinion. I do not endorse cheating, lying or anything else. I am just being real. I am not perfect and I do not pretend to be either. I have mad mistakes and I am in no way trying to place my judgments upon other peoples relationships. Do you!***
